You have to Love yourself. Period. No ifs ands or buts.
Sometimes it feels like you don't get the attention you deserve. Sometimes you feel as though the earth could not move at all and you won't be bothered or nobody would look for you. Truth is, everyone is about their own business. Nobody is gonna blow a bullhorn every time you achieve something in your life.
You have to learn to celebrate alone and with God being the first thing on your mind every single day. You have to embrace the peace you feel when you have time to sort out your thoughts. You have to learn to walk on a road that will take you to a secret place where you can be alone on the noisy days.
Humans always feel the need to talk to somebody. Even me. On my worst days I just rant about people not being there for me on social media or maybe post a meme that relates to my situation but that's what most people do anyway. Treat yourself like you're a rich woman stepping out of a limousine with a glass of champagne in her hand. Royalty always beats mediocre thoughts. That royal mind state doesn't come just by a pep talk from a blog that people view now and then. That royal mind state comes when you learn you can walk alone...
On days like this I feel like I could hear people breathing. Like I could hear their cells reproducing.. Feel their energies. Because it's so damn silent. What if it all turned around on me? What if hanging out with a lot of guys backfired? Well this is the right time it would. The beginning of 2018.
Where is Candy Boy? Where is the guy who I had a crush on for like 2 years? Where is the revived zombie dude who agreed to go for ice cream with me one day? I have accomplished a lot for this vacation. A lot meaning reading out a romance novel and another book in the short space of two days. It doesn't feel so depressing after all. Maybe this is my time to meditate and focus on myself and God and the things that really matter; good old fashioned fun. Well, whatever that is.
I am so accustomed to holding my breath and inching my way to make decisions but I feel now is the time when I have to really take risks. I went for my dream goal but it's not the right time. I felt it. Traveled for nearly two hours to be told you don't have the required documents... It didn't crush me then. It just made me smile because I know I will get it when I really need it. I could go on and on.. It feels so strange being alone but maybe this is what I need after all. I have a good feeling that story time is on it's way..
