Who says you have to be sad and show your depression and wonder on the outside? Who says you have to keep the memories of the hurtful past in your pocket?
I decided that I am not gonna stand another day of pretending to be okay when everything about that person serves as a walk down memory lane. I don't wanna feel the same things i felt before or think about things that are way far fetched. I am just enjoying life to the fullest. Pushing myself to do more, laughing harder, giggling like a teenager with a crush and lifting my feet when i walk instead of studying my problems.
People who really have your back will never throw anything back at your face and i can say that i have people like that. People who i can tell almost anything and they will put aside their childish remarks just to make me feel better. I don't think that i want a relationship just yet. I need to learn to enjoy friendship. I can't look at every opportunity for love as a door waiting to be closed in my face. I know that there is time and God's timing is perfect.
These times really make me just sit back, feeling pleased and emotional. Because when people understand you and respect you, it's way better than have someone lie to your face and say "I love you"....
Never put all your trust in man because you will end up hurt. You can defend people, fight for them, support them and they still have the audacity to leave you for the kill. After all your compassion, sweat, tears and patience, you still find it in your heart to forgive and love.
She didn't want the perfect relationship. She didn't want a fairytale ending. She was willing to prove to the people who doubted that people can change, but you showed her all the reasons why she shouldn't. It's better you broke her heart now than years down the road where she becomes a mess and not even she can help herself.
She prays for him still even though he might not even think about her. She felt a part of her disgusted and betrayed but God will always heal a broken heart and help you pick up the pieces. She holds on to the hope that she will find herself a husband... not just a man to walk in and out of her life. She is tired of the short term nonsense. She just wants somebody so passionate about Christ that she could look at him and say wow! You're doing the right thing. She doesn't wanna keep babysitting someone and urging them to pick up their bible and read the Word of God. It should be the first and last thing they do for the day.
She doesn't want a person to lean on, because Jesus already holds that place. He knows her thoughts before she even opens her mouth. She is trusting in Him to intervene in her life and his perfect timing never fails...
