I Don't Wanna Play Anymore

It feels as though people keep putting me in a cycle. Love, care then be used, then fall out of existence for a while, then come back strong... It's reached to the point where the sting is there but the actions towards it have come to a halt. 

I don't wanna keep doing this. Hoping to fit myself into a puzzle that wasn't designed for me. I could be madly in love with someone and just walk past them without a smirk. I feel myself sinking to that place where all my tiredness is based on a mild depression streak. I work extra hours just to pass time. I don't wanna think about the hurt no more. As it comes, I just wanna be strong enough to learn from it and make my next wise move. 

What is scarier than feeling numb? To feel your heart breaking right before someone and all they see is the shell that portrayed something so genuine. Love isn't always fair. The good ones end up with the bad ones and the kindest hearts suffer a longing like no other. I'm done being that amazing girl who helps and who supports and who will run to your rescue. I'm gonna be the best person to deal with this situation now. I'm gonna step out my fantasy world now...