Hanging by a thread

I'm at the point where I don't know what hurts more, my mother not being here, me feeling like i have to keep watching my own back, my father acting up or my classes driving me crazy.

It feels like i'm sinking and Jesus is there keeping me from going underneath. I don't have an expression. I just need to cry to release the pressure because it feels like a volcano. I see couples being all sweet, parents treating their children good, and i want that. I long for that. Nobody understands what i feel until they switch places with me.

Sometimes i wish i could just go to school while my parents provide financial support but i cant do that. Its all fantasies, not a reality but im coping. Because i have to be the strong one when everything breaks. I cant show weakness because thats how deer gets eaten by wolves. Things are there to comfort me but its temporary. Jesus is the only one who can make it all better. I never doubt his existence. I just need time to find myself and get in touch with Him for real. No more games and wondering and doubts.


Something random. Lecrae is the best rapper alive! aha