Running...

Your emotions may seem uncontrollable to you but you can control. You just have to dig deep. 

I know it's hard for you to let someone into your life again and I got the hint you threw out there for me today. You're afraid of getting attached to me... but you already are. Your heart is afraid to even pronounce the word love. 

I'm not asking for your love, I'm asking for permission to be there for you. You won't let me help you because you keep telling me you're fine when you're tearing up inside. Don't think I cannot see through the wall you have up. You can't run forever. 

Pictures

Pictures are the unwritten diaries that we keep and it holds a lot of memories. 

In my last relationship, pictures was more important than actual life events that should be remembered and cherished. Instead of living in the moment I used to want to just capture it, thinking that when I view them it would cause some kind of fulfilment. 

I've learnt that pictures can raise other people's expectations and when it's all over, it all fades away like ashes and all are deleted, hoping that the memories disappear as well. From now on, I do not want any pictures with me and my current friend (crush). I just want everything to be real and pure. 

When we laugh, we should see the grins on our own faces but the grins of each other. When we kiss it shouldn't be a still, it should be something that can be played on and on and can never be erased from some kind of memory device. 

My friend showed me a lot about breathing the fresh air instead of wasting time on the internet and he made a lot of sense. I spent most of my time online because that is where my relationship was... Because of the pictures that I posted with me and that person from the past. 

Now that I can resist and I have come back to reality, I know that I can have the best relationship in the future without technology being the centre of it. 

Be careful... Pictures can make a relationship less enjoyable. Just grasp what you have now before it's gone so fast that you can't even take a snapshot. 

"You're Amazing"

I remember the day I texted you and told you that. You asked me why I thought so and I told you everything about you. 

Love stories don't always go as planned. Sometimes you gotta kiss a few frogs before you can meet your prince but I can't find my prince until I find out what love is. I need to understand every concept so I would know what I'm in for. 

I don't want any setbacks and mistakes again. I want the real deal. The love that lasts throughout whatever. I believe love is beyond our imagination because it happens when we least expect it and with the person whom we least expect. Love is a riddle that only God knows. 

Love does not suck. The people we waste out time with is the thing that sucks when we refer to love as being a tragedy. You should know by now that i suppress my feelings. I can't help it because I don't want to rush into anything. I know you got a few cracks in the mud but I think a person can change if they really think someone is worth it. 

I hope I'm reading the signs right and I am so interested in seeing where our friendship goes. Until then, please continue to be amazing...

Walls

I can't help but feel sad because you don't want me involved in the way that I feel I already am. No matter what I say, you push me away. 

I didn't go to work because seeing you would remind me of how distant we have to be. I can hear your tears... It makes me feel like I wanna cry. 

I remember I told you its easy for me to shut off people but you're not the one I'll do that to. Its hard for me to leave you alone because you have already become a part of me. 

Where is the crazy dude who drove to my house in the middle of the night just to see me? I don't believe that was just a random act. It's because you feel the way I feel about you. You're afraid that I'll hurt you but you won't admit it. 

Just to relieve your mind, I won't show any love interest in you. I'll treat you as a friend to reassure you that I have patience and that I trust you can get over your situation. It's just I miss you.... I really miss you...Where are YOU? 

Putting Up A Fight

I know you're hurting because I can feel it. I feel you... You fight to hide the pain but I see through the walls you put up. You are so used to being rough and tough but never took the time to be soft. Your emotions haunt you because you always hide it with a fight. 

I'm not gonna leave you alone because you need me and I need you. You saved me from hurting and now its my turn to save you. 

Muscle can lift objects but it won't lift the pain that you're going through. Believe me when I say, I'm not leaving you alone. You're my responsibility from now on... 

Heart Skips

I don't know how to feel when i can be so easily replaced.. And by a dude. 

You're not gay, it's just that you crave attention and affection even if its from your best friend. I don't know why some part of me just feels like i don't care when it's really tearing me up inside. Why should i sulk when you're having fun?

I feel like your expectations of me are so high that when i cant come through for you, you find something else to occupy your mind. And then you give me this crap about "missing you". If you did, you wouldn't be there just not giving a damn whether i wanna talk to you or not. 

You're a big dumb dummy head. I just wanna scream. 

Missing You

I miss you so much.

Words cannot explain how i cannot focus without hearing your voice. I know your best friend needs you because he lost someone really close to him and i don't wanna be selfish but i need you too. I feel like i can't figure out a way to make your best friend feel better and myself at the same time.

These days i'm working a lot and that means a lot of time is away from you but i still miss our long phone convos. The last time i had one of those long convos was... I can't even remember. A piece of me has been slightly bruised but it can be fixed as long as i hear from you. 

Being selfless never ached so much.