Confessions

I rushed to the hospital when I heard the news. 
My heart throbbed as though I took a million heart stimulants for breakfast. I searched the entire ward with my eyes, looking for that familiar face. When I heard the voice, I followed it until I met him slung up with braces on his body. His spine looked as though it had been ripped out of his back. 

Just the sight made my stomach hurt. I went and asked what had happened. The reason was so unlike him. It didn't make any sense. I promised him I would care for him until he got better. I promised him I was not giving up on him.. I held on to his hand like I was holding it for the very last time. After that I woke up crying. Tears flowing down the side of my cheeks and soaking my pillow. My heart still racing as though the dream had become real. My heart ached. For days I was distraught. I couldn't stop but think about it. I still remember it like yesterday. 

The dreams keep coming. They feel like nightmares but then I realized, they are not. They are all my bottled feelings that have been unresolved and lost in the abyss. I thought by now I should be happy but like it's a painful thing to let go of what never got a fair chance...