How it is

T and  i have this weird relationship. It's like a friend to friend relation without the not kissing and not being totally in love with one another. I really appreciate the lengths he goes to make me happy and i wish there was more i could do to return the favor but once I'm confined to the shaky walls of this mad house i can just pull the curtains to see him.

We dont talk everyday, not because we don't wanna talk to each other, it's just because he is currently working and i'm not and i don't like to disturb him from doing something productive. Maybe i should lay low and let him take control a bit because i realize every time i text him or try to call him these days, he just ignores and replies way after.

If i were the picky kind of girl i would have a big problem with him not being there always but he knows exactly what i need and i can't blame him for trying to satisfy me. We all know how girls are hard to please at times so i think he's doing a pretty good job at it. On the other hand, i would like the company, the acknowledgment of my existence but i guess i can't have the cake and eat it too.

Maybe the reason i stay up til morning is because the internet gives me the attention i desire and i'm just making up for all the lost times with him. It's a temporary relief i know but it's what i have right now and what i'm willing to work with. Right now i could imagine him all cozy in his bed sleeping and waiting for the right moment to wake up and do his crazy early morning routine. And me... I'm up here watching Awkward because it's relatable.

Love for me isn't complicated, it's just concealed for now. I just hope this lack of communication does not go on forever. I'm starting to think he's hiding something and when a girl starts to think that, Lord knows what will happen...