Stuck.. But for a Moment

Sure, everybody else is moving up in life and it feels like I am stuck in the same spot, but that is just a feeling. It does not define me. I am capable of great things.

I've got a friend who was really close that is moving foward and although I am trying to be very happy for him as he would do for me, it just seems hard. I'm glad he is not being held back though. Although it irritates me to see people vacationing and taking awesome pictures, I'm gonna act strong like if it doesn't bother me. 

I rather address certain problems this way because I don't want a whole bunch of people feeling sorry for me. It's bad enough that sometimes I feel sorry for myself. My time will come where I reach to the top of the mountain and I would not rub it in people's faces. I don't wan't someone to be in the position that I'm in now. Its not a great feeling at all. 

There isn't much you can really do after all when your parents are like dictators controlling your every move but rebelling doesn't always have to be bad. Most of the times, the only way you can express yourself is to go against the norms of a boring life. I love singing... that's a start. Stay tuned, You'll hear more about that in my next blog. 

New Semester, BIG Expectations

I just love the beginning of a new semester. Makes me feel to go shopping. Too bad I depend on my parents for money(Dead End). Well this short semester, I am so looking foward to seeing new faces like these: 

Especially that second one... ;) I could really use a bunch of strangers to keep me company throughout the three boring hours of class that I still love so much.

On my campus, hot smart guys are so rare. Well there are always those "half but not fully gone emo people"... I just need some kind of excitement and that can only be found when you are among a great bunch of people. Boring people make life feel black and white. I think the world can handle at least two of me. 

I've already made some friends on the campus but I think I've gone too personal. I should have just left it as hi and bye. Oh well, can't regret it now cause it won't fix a thing. I could really use some eye candy. I know I implied it before but my life is pretty boring so that will do. 

I'm also looking foward to writing more blogs like this than depressed emo blogs like i usually do. It all depends on the weather in my life I guess. Anyways, to the point, I will be studying very hard to get two A's for this summer semester. Maybe if I do that, some hot guys would come around for me to look at them. Aha! 

What You Don't See Coming

There are those times where you feel like you're moving ahead and taking new steps when all of a sudden, someone or something from the past pops up. 

The person was there, but you had already shut them out for good reasons and they decide to try to be your friend again. I do not understand why these things happen but they are all stages in life and we have to cope with them and decide whether we want to keep a person in our lives or send them away forever. 

It hits you like culture shock. Sometimes these people or things that come back bring along feelings and you want to try your best to forget about what happened but you just can't ignore the elephant in the room. I don't believe we should hold grudges... we should forgive and be open to the past resurfacing. 

We don't have to accept these people who come back, but we could listen to what they have to say. I believe that once a ship have sailed, there is no turning back. However, if it is righteous in the eyes of God, something might come out of it. 

As a person who is experiencing this now, I do not wish to turn back the hands of time and revisit that area I once was in. I hate to crush dreams but I can't do things to please that person. I need to work on myself and what the Lord wants for me. 

Must Watch Vids

We all know how Youtube has developed over the years and how loaded it is with videos. I already gave my views on some of the famous youtubers without bashing anyone. Videos are what keep us entertained in our boring lives and busy schedules. I am Reigna and these are my top video picks:

First up is one of the videos from none other than Onision- Ten things I hate about phones: 

I really laughed at that video. 

Next is Shane Dawson's Original Music Video, Superluv: 

I really love this song. At least he doesn't cuss in it. Haha :P 

Next is Bart Baker, my recently added youtuber to my subscribe list. This is his parody of Thrift shop:

Next is Barely Political's As Long As You Love Me parody:

This dude who plays bieber is great! 

And to finish it off, my new favorite, Smosh! This is their video for If movies were real:

Awesome videos and much more in store. Check out these video creators for much more laughs! Soon i'll be on the youtubing trend. ;)

Hurt

You know that feeling you get in your gut that makes you feel so disgusted? That is the feeling I get when I see you being hurt. It hurts me more than it hurts you. All of that was not called for. 

Some parents can be so irritating and so full of hate for someone they don't even know. I wish I could snap my finger and appear in another place far away from here. I need more than an escape... I should have never let those hurtful words be said to you... I should have just stopped it myself and take it instead. 

I'm glad we are at a better place now but it still isn't good enough. Now you understand what I go through almost everyday of my life and you understand why I needed things to be put to rest. I wish I didn't have to walk on eggshells all my life. When I find my place, it will be mine and then I can do what I want

Letting Go

What hurts more? The pain of letting go or the pain of being let go? For me I think both hurts.

We aren't always pleased with our situations. Sometimes we push foward because we know we want to try something else. A person who is in love puts out a lot and to have their hopes and dreams crushed can make the person who ended things feel like a monster. 

No matter how much we try to forget, the memories come back and it haunts. I rather stop something before it explodes than let it swell up inside and just cause devastation. These are my words... These are my actions.. This is my life. We have to account for all of this and it wouldn't look great if you keep ripping through people like if they are nothing. The last thing I want to do is hurt people. 

When that person gathers their emotions and is strong enough to say the words they can't now, I will be waiting. It's all confusing if you don't experience it. Letting go someone is much more harder than everyone thinks. Time will heal the wounds of the hurt, but memories are always there and cannot be blocked out... but can be replaced by new ones. The fear we have is not really losing the person we love, but rather losing the person we love to someone else. 

When you think of it, it's better you let someone live their life and be happy than be in something that tears them down without them knowing. In the end, all I can say... It was all real. None of it was fake. 

Good Grades

In the college life, we expect a lot from our grades. Grades are the bullets of the gun of intelligence and it determines our potential. I just love when i get grades like this: 

When i realized my grade i wanted to jump on a trampoline and dance like a crazy person. All my hard work had finally paid off. Although I have like a whole three years of studying ahead of me, i'm glad that i have something to show it isn't a waste of time. To all those college students out there, do not give up... keep your faith and trust in God and you will get what you want.